Dream Together with Your Spouse

Do you know how to enjoy being one flesh with your spouse? No, not that, although that's fun too. I’m talking about knowing each other's dreams and passions. Not as interesting? You may change your mind.

The Apostle Paul refers to our union with our spouse a mystery. While there are plenty of jokes that could follow, what he’s talking about is the nature of the spiritual union in marriage. He describes it as a husband and wife being glued together. He gives the example that we are one with our spouse as Christ is one with his church. He even goes so far as to say if a husband loves himself he’s loving himself. He doesn’t say it’s “like” loving yourself, he said it “IS” loving yourself.

Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
— Ephesians 5:28

In Genesis 2 and Ephesians 5 we’re told that a man and woman leave their parents and cleave to one another and become united as ONE FLESH. This original language indicates that they become glued together or joined together. That’s a vivid picture, it’s like his body becomes here and hers becomes his.

The union goes deeper than skin, into the soul and even spirit. We don’t fully understand the nature of the union, it’s a mystery. But we know it’s more than a legally binding contract.

Marriage is a relationship that reflects our relationship with Christ. We explored this in a previous article, but I want to explore the idea of becoming one flesh in this article.

Since it’s a mystery, let’s talk more about the practical side of becoming one flesh.

Seek To Understand

A marriage must have good communication in place. If there is to be mutual submission through love and respect, there must be an ongoing dialogue between husband and wife.

Ladies, he can’t read your mind, and men, she needs to hear what’s on yours. Tell each other what you’re thinking. There are behavioral dynamics that play into the type of communicator each spouse is, but for the most part, you need to talk to each other more.

Dream Together

Here’s a practical way to understand one another and express this mysterious union you are in, dream together.

Try this: tell each other what you’d do if money, time and health were not an issue. Describe it in detail, what you would do, where you’d live, how you’d help others, what kind of job you’d work…give as much detail as possible.

Listen to each other… Then find a way to help each other practically more toward those passions and dreams.

Life is too short to allow your marriage to grow stale. Explore each other’s hearts, dig deep and find Christ in each other. Help mine the gold from each other’s passions and dreams. You’d be surprised how much fun it can be and how fulfilling it is to have your spouse understand your deepest desires and actually help you live them.

Clint Byars

Believer, Husband, Father