Listening to People Develops Trust and Open Communication in Our Relationships
Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.
— Dr. Stephen Covey
Most people just want to get their point across. We often ignore the other person but pretend we're listening. We selectively hear what we want to respond to but often miss their meaning. Most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. We prepare in our mind what we're going to say while they’re still speaking. WE FILTER EVERYTHING THROUGH OURSELVES. Consequently, we decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating. This is called judgement, more on that next week.
God Listens to Us
Let’s look at a few passages and get some insight from God on how to listen. These are wonderful promises about the character and faithfulness of God but we can also learn some universal principles about communication from these passages.
I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. Psalm 116:1-2
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
Most people just want to get their point across. We often ignore the other person but pretend we're listening. We selectively hear what we want to respond to but often miss their meaning. Most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. We prepare in our minds what we're going to say while they’re still speaking. WE FILTER EVERYTHING THROUGH OURSELVES. Consequently, we decide prematurely what the other person means before he/she finishes communicating. This is called judgment, more on that next week.
God Listens to Us
Let’s look at a few passages and get some insight from God on how to listen. These are beautiful promises about the character and faithfulness of God, but we can also learn some universal principles about communication from these passages.
I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. Psalm 116:1-2
LESSON #1: LISTENING DEVELOPS TRUST
“Because he heard me, I will call on him.” The Psalmist bears his heart about God, he lets us know that he feels heard by God, and because he feels heard by God, he will continue to go to God all the days of his life.
Do you feel like God hears you? He does all the time in every single situation. We often judge God because of the circumstances of our lives. We feel like we pray, and nothing happens. We then come up with doctrines and cliches like “when God is silent.”
I have news for you, God is never silent, he is always present to hear our hearts, and he is still responding with mercy, compassion, empathy, and wisdom. It’s up to us to lay aside our perspectives and change our thinking to his frequency - this is true repentance.
This principle also applies to our relationships. LISTENING DEVELOPS TRUST. Let’s flip it around, do you feel like there’s a break down in trust in your relationship? Maybe it’s because you don’t feel heard. Perhaps it’s because your spouse doesn’t feel heard by you. Am I speaking to you?
And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us. 1 John 5:14
LESSON #2: LISTENING DEVELOPS CONFIDENCE
Let’s look at the definition of CONFIDENCE:
CONFIDENCE - Gr. parrēsia (click for lexicon)
Openly, Plainly, Boldly1. freedom in speaking, unreservedness in speech
- openly, frankly, i.e without concealment
- without ambiguity or circumlocution
- without the use of figures and comparisons2. free and fearless confidence, cheerful courage, boldness, assurance
Does your spouse feel confident (open, free to speak) that you are hearing and understanding them? Do your actions and follow up behavior reflect that you hear and understand? Or do you nod your head and go about your business?
I have seen too many relationships fall apart due to a lack of communication. People are willing to forgive, rebuild, and move on, but there must be communication. Once communication stops, I know the relationship is coming to an end. I have seen people talk through some of the most horrific situations, things you would think would be deal-breakers, but as long as they keep talking and working together, they overcome.
But there must be an open door for communication. That’s up to you. You have to let people feel safe enough to tell you the truth. The truth about their feelings as well as the truth about you.
If you respond in anger or become defensive, you can rest assured the other person will be less open and honest with you, and that could be the beginning of the end.
Practical Tips for Listening
Stop being defensive
Be a safe person. Allow people to tell you painful truths without being defensive. If you find yourself being defensive, slow down, and notice the underlying issue. You may find an insecurity or past hurt lingering around, driving your current behavior. Seek help to let it go.
Ask Questions
In seeking to understand before seeking to be understood, you must ask questions!! You may find out the information you didn’t know. You may help the other person clarify their thoughts when you take the time to ask questions.
Emphatic Listening
Try to see the world through the eyes of the other person. Get what they are feeling. Empathize with their perspective and feel what they’re saying. “You feel me?”
Rephrasing
Say back what you heard in your own words to confirm you understand. “What I heard you say is…” Make sure you know what the other person is saying before you respond. Make sure you understand their point before arguing or trying to make your point.
Listen to understand before expecting the other person to see everything from your perspective. Show empathy and compassion in your listening and watch all of your relationships reflect the character and love of God.
You Hear God Better When You're Aware of Your Sonship
This message brings my Becoming Limitless series to a close, This series is about eliminating those internal limitations that keep us from following God. This series is not about getting rich and living your dreams, this series is about living FROM purpose and fulfilling those God given assignments in your life.
You are complete in Christ, doing things for him do not define you, but God does have things he wants you to do for him and his kingdom, and the fulfillment of those assignments increases his kingdom and brings great joy and fulfillment.
So what does he want you to do?
I personally think you can discern those assignments in an environment of love for others. In this series I suggest that you define who you love for your own understanding, and then take practical steps to act out that love for that people group, bringing the Gospel, meeting practical needs and prayerfully affecting them in such a way they turn to Jesus.
This message brings my Becoming Limitless series to a close, This series is about eliminating those internal limitations that keep us from following God. This series is not about getting rich and living your dreams, this series is about living FROM purpose and fulfilling those God given assignments in your life.
You are complete in Christ, doing things for him do not define you, but God does have things he wants you to do for him and his kingdom, and the fulfillment of those assignments increases his kingdom and brings great joy and fulfillment.
So what does he want you to do?
I personally think you can discern those assignments in an environment of love for others. In this series I suggest that you define who you love for your own understanding, and then take practical steps to act out that love for that people group, bringing the Gospel, meeting practical needs and prayerfully affecting them in such a way they turn to Jesus.
God Will Show You The Way
When God called Moses to deliver Israel from Egypt he told Moses that he would teach him what to say and do.
Exodus 4:12 Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” 15b … and I will be with your mouth and with his mouth and will teach you both what to do.
Jesus said that he would send the Holy Spirit who would lead and guide us. Paul said we know God’s mind on matters of life and ministry and his spirit will reveal things to us that God has prepared for us.
John 16:12 “I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. 13 When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. 14 He will glorify me, for he will take what is mine and declare it to you. 15 All that the Father has is mine; therefore I said that he will take what is mine and declare it to you.
God is speaking, do you hear him?
Sometimes yes and sometimes no, it’s that way for us all. I’d like to put a few passages together and make a point about how God speaks and how you can settle into hearing him more consistently.
The first I already posted above, John 16:12-15. Jesus promises that his spirit would lead and guide us into all truth. His spirit will declare to you all that the Father has given Jesus. The nuance is that all of that is yours too.
The other 2 passages are 1 Corinthians 2:1-16 and Romans 8:9-16.
1 Corinthians 2
9 However, as it is written:
“What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him— Isaiah 64:4
10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 12 What we have received is not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may understand what God has freely given us. 13 This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. 14 The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. 15 The person with the Spirit makes judgments about (understands) all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, 16 for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” (Isaiah 40:13). But we have the mind of Christ.
If you have the spirit of God, you have his mind on the issues of life. By the way, if you’re born again you have his spirit.
Romans 8:9 You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.
14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
God’s spirit within you testifies to you or bears witness to you that you are his child. God is speaking to you and what he is saying is this, “you’re my child.”
We all want to hear God but are we hearing him reassure to us that we belong to him, that we’re safe in him, that we’re his beloved and favored child?
If you want to hear God’s leading for the assignments he has for you, make sure that you’re hearing him bear witness with your spirit that you’re his child. Anytime you pray or seek the Lord for wisdom and direction, allow him to bear witness to you that you are his and he is yours. Get excited about your place in his family and allow it to establish a peace that can not be shaken - then turn your attention to what he wants you to do.
Identity first, obedience second, it’s a winning combination.
There’s a Difference Between Dreams and Assignments from God
Assignments from God are completed FROM identity, not FOR identity. Once you know that you are already a child in his kingdom (by grace through faith), he equips you as an ambassador to complete assignments.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
An assignment from God has to do with those good works you were created unto. An assignment has to do with those works God has prepared for you to do. An assignment is something God wants you to do as an ambassador of his kingdom. God may have multiple assignments for you throughout your life, some are fulfilled in a day, some are walked out over a lifetime.
God has things he wants you to do, don’t you want to do them?
Assignments from God are completed FROM identity, not FOR identity. Once you know that you are already a child in his kingdom (by grace through faith), he equips you as an ambassador to complete assignments.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
An assignment from God has to do with those good works you were created unto. An assignment has to do with those works God has prepared for you to do. An assignment is something God wants you to do as an ambassador of his kingdom. God may have multiple assignments for you throughout your life, some are fulfilled in a day, some are walked out over a lifetime.
God has things he wants you to do, don’t you want to do them?
It’s important to keep in mind that you do not derive your identity by completing these assignments. He has given you the power to be his child by grace through faith in the atoning work of Jesus Christ, he adopted you and that’s it, you’re his child.
Nothing you do for God will ever determine whether or not you’re saved, whether or not God loves you, whether or not your salvation is secure - the completion of assignments are to be completed BECAUSE you are an accepted, righteous and holy child of God.
What Are Dreams?
Dreams: a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal
- Aspiration: a hope or ambition of achieving something
- Ambition: a strong desire to do or to achieve something,
typically requiring determination and hard work
Dreams are those things you want to accomplish in life that may not have much to do with ministry. Dreams are perfectly fine to have. Your dreams and your assignments may coincide. Your dreams may finance your assignments. BUT, living your dreams will not bring the same kind of spiritual fulfillment that completing assignments will.
You may have a dream to travel the world, build a successful business, be a world class artist or become a star athlete - all of those are fine, but those dreams are most likely not the kinds of assignments God has for you as an ambassador in his kingdom.
You might use your influence as a professional athlete or take advantage of opportunities that traveling may create, and yes there may be assignments within each of those dreams, but the attainment of those dreams alone is not the same as completing God-ordained assignments.
Watch a clip from an interview with Tom Brady from 2005, he now has 6 Super Bowl wins.
This is not a judgment against Tom, it’s just an illustration, he achieved his dreams and it didn’t bring fulfillment, he was looking for more.
Some of you think that achieving your dreams will do it for you, it won’t. Dreams are fun, they bring a lot of excitement, but there’s more.
The Sweet Spot
Yes, of course, some of you have dreams that are also divine assignments, I have those too. That’s the sweet spot, when your income, your dreams, and your assignment are the same thing, but that’s not the case for everyone.
I hope you get to live your dreams, I hope your dreams pay you, but if they don’t, I pray you still fulfill the assignments God has for you. In doing so you’ll have more fulfillment and contentment than the achievement of any dream could bring.
Dreams are something you want to accomplish or experience. Dreams typically require hard work to be realized.
The Peter Pan Syndrome
This is the part where I may upset or offend people, watch this incredibly insightful explanation of Peter Pan.
Peter Pan is more than a children's tale, it's a warning. The warning is you better grow up and make mature decisions. Peter doesn't want to grow up so he stays in Neverland where he's magical. If he joins the real world he'll no longer be magical.
Peter's biggest enemy is a mean man who has been bitten by the crocodile of time, Captain Hook. Peter makes fun of the man who has been affected by time, he taunts him while he lives in his fantasy land.
Peter also never gets to have a real relationship with a woman, he has to settle for Tinkerbell, who can't talk. An immature boy can't speak with a real woman anyway. Peter is also king of the Lost Boys, another group of boys who are hiding from the real world. They just never grow up.
Peter seems fun and unrestricted but he never makes the sacrifice of maturity. He never lays down his fanciful dreams of childhood and discovers the wonder of adulthood. He's grown but he still sees the world through the mentality of a child.
Too many men are living in Neverland. They end up divorced, they never develop a career, they don't put in the sacrifices to come out the other side into a world where you get to actually live and accomplish dreams. Meaningful dreams, not just fanciful dreams.
The moral to the story is growing up, not just grow up but take on the responsibility of maturity. Maturity is able to enjoy life in all its wonder much more completely than the immature dreamer who never makes it out of childhood.
Conclusion
I love Jordan Peterson, I appreciate his insights and direct nature of communication. I found this illustration to be very appropriate regarding the subject of dreams and fulfilling assignments from God.
Life with Jesus isn’t like it is in Neverland. Life with Jesus requires paying the price of dying to yourself and picking up your cross. The secret is, there is incredible fulfillment form picking up that cross and coming out on the other side. The other side of maturity is fulfillment.
I hope this is helpful to you. Some of you may be reading this and feel a sense of pressure. I don’t want to offend you but it may be time to just get a job and learn to be productive at something. Develop the character of consistency and let go of the fantasy that life is easy where all your dreams come true.
I know that’s a bit harsh to say but I really feel at this time, there are people who need to understand who they are in Christ, get to work, and seize opportunities to serve God and fulfill those assignments as they come.
Confess The Word of God to Renew Your Mind and Be Transformed
You are transformed as you renew your mind (Romans 12:2). There is no better source for mind-renewal than the word of God.
There are several methods and applications to root the word in your heart. You can read, pray, meditate, confess, incorporate into art, listen to, and sing songs about the word of God, but in all of those you must hold the word in your heart to give it time to root and bear fruit.
I want to focus on the power of confession in this article. For a little more context, I am discussing confession in light of renewing your mind and developing confidence in the area of your assignment from God.
You are transformed as you renew your mind (Romans 12:2). There is no better source for mind-renewal than the word of God.
There are several methods and applications to root the word in your heart. You can read, pray, meditate, confess, incorporate into art, listen to, and sing songs about the word of God, but in all of those, you must hold the word in your heart to give it time to root and bear fruit.
I want to focus on the power of confession in this article. For a little more context, I am discussing confession in light of renewing your mind and developing confidence in the area of your assignment from God.
You might ask “how do I know what my assignment is?” Here’s the short version - ask yourself “who do I love?” When you know who you love you can then determine how you will love them and get busy on your assignment, God will give you the details along the way.
The Greek word for confess is homologeō , which means “to say the same thing, to agree with, to profess.”
When you confess God’s word you are saying the same thing God is saying about whatever you are confessing. You are coming into agreement with God. You are professing his wisdom, logic, promises and faithfulness over your life and circumstances.
In this Becoming Limitless series, we are using the power of confession to build a Confession Script for your assignment from God.
I gave my church the assignment to write down several identity passages as well as a few passages that relate to their assignment from God. Scroll down and watch previous sermons to discover how to determine your assignment from God. I invite you to work on the same assignment. Compile the list then read it out loud as part of your prayer time. Say it until you feel it, say it until you believe it.
You don’t confess the word to make God move and you don’t confess it to magically make things happen in your life, you confess it to make it believable to your heart.
All things are possible to those who believe!!
If you want to be limitless, do whatever it takes to believe!!
As you go about fulfilling God’s assignments for your life it is important to keep your mind renewed and guard against those pesky internal limitations that seek to disqualify you from fulfilling your assignment.
A Confession Script is a powerful tool to keep your heart confident in your identity in Christ and focused on the goal of completing your assignment.
Do yourself a favor and use God’s word to renew your mind. Put on your true identity by confessing God’s word over every internal issue and external circumstance. The word of God is alive and powerful, co-labor with it to speak life over your future!!
Watch This Powerful Video of A Seed Growing to Understand How God’s Word Works in Your Heart
When you remember that you’re forgiven and God has cleansed you from your sins, you are free to live untethered. The strength of sin of the law but the strength of righteousness is freedom. (See last week’s article for more on this idea).
From there on you have to guard your heart against the deceitfulness of riches and the cares of this world, as well as not yield your body to sin. You do so to keep your heart and conscience clear to hear and follow God’s instructions.
There is a responsibility to freedom. True freedom does not seek permissiveness, it seeks righteousness.
When you remember that you’re forgiven and God has cleansed you from your sins, you are free to live untethered. The strength of sin of the law but the strength of righteousness is freedom. (See last week’s article for more on this idea).
From there on you have to guard your heart against the deceitfulness of riches and the cares of this world, as well as not yield your body to sin. You do so to keep your heart and conscience clear to hear and follow God’s instructions.
There is a responsibility to freedom. True freedom does not seek permissiveness, it seeks righteousness.
You can steward your freedom in Christ well and watch the free gift of righteousness bear fruit beyond measure. You don’t have to convince God to move, you just have to stop allowing things into your heart that choke out his word from growing into your life.
God Has Moved
God has set in motion all you will ever need already in Christ. Everything you will ever pray for has been given you in seed form in Christ. All provision, healing and deliverance is already a true reality in Christ and it’s seeking to grow into your life. Like a seed in the ground trying to break through the ground and grow, so are all of God’s promises hidden within Christ who is within you.
We are not trying to get God to act on our behalf, we are trying to experience the fruit of what’s already available.
Christ is the soil in which all of God’s will abides, but it is not far from you, it is in your newly created heart, trying to break through the soil of your life and bear its abundant fruit in every single aspect of your life, no matter what external circumstance you may find yourself in.
Affirm your identity in Christ, affirm you are the temple of the spirit of the living, holy God, acknowledge all that he’s done in you through Christ, and watch his character develop into your life.
Clear away the distractions that rob faith and rest in your true eternal identity which is a child of God, a current citizen of Heaven with all of his kingdom within you now. Yield and let it grow.
Making Your Life Count
This process is not to make you a better Christian or to earn blessings from God, engaging in the process of guarding your heart from the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches and the lust of other things is for your fruitfulness and effectiveness.
God has some things he wants you to do to spread the good news of his kingdom, if you are burdened with guilt, debt and sin consciousness then you probably won’t have the peace and confidence to fulfill those assignments.
You are a blood washed child of God, that won’t change, but the Gospel needs to be spread. You have some things in your heart that need to be birthed into this world. You are a significant member of the body of Christ that needs to be bold and free to express your creativity in Christ.
You are important!!
Take the time to tend the garden of your heart. Don’t allow things in that rob your energy and confidence. You can do this!! God will help you!!
Be bold, guard your heart and take steps forward i your assignment from God!!
Watch the video above for the whole sermon.
How To Overcome Limiting Beliefs That Keep You From Growing and Succeeding
When you try to grow and move beyond your current place in life, you may experience limiting beliefs that try to keep you stuck. The good news is, if you know it’s coming, you can be prepared to face and overcome those internal limitations.
Insecurities, past failures, things said to you by parents, fear about money - all kinds of things may rise up in your thinking and attempt to derail you from growing and moving forward. The key is to know who you are in Christ, remember that you’re forgiven, and be honest with yourself. What do you do when you try to move forward and face internal opposition?
When you try to grow and move beyond your current place in life, you may experience limiting beliefs that try to keep you stuck. The good news is, if you know it’s coming, you can be prepared to face and overcome those internal limitations.
Insecurities, past failures, things said to you by parents, fear about money - all kinds of things may rise up in your thinking and attempt to derail you from growing and moving forward.
The key is to know who you are in Christ, remember that you’re forgiven, and be honest with yourself.
What do you do when you try to move forward and face internal opposition?
Peter teaches a valuable principle in living by faith. He essentially encourages us to live by faith and do it well. He suggests making sure these specific character attributes are present in your lives as you seek to live by faith, following Jesus.
The interesting thing about it this, if you don’t have these godly attributes in your life, his solution is not to try to do better or work harder to be a good person, his solution is for you to remember that you’re already forgiven. Peter suggests that you have forgotten that your sins have been cleansed if you aren’t seeing these godly traits in your life.
Why would remembering that your sins have been cleansed develop godly character traits in your life?
You’d remember that you’re forgiven
You’d remember that God has cleansed you with the life-blood of Jesus
You’d remember that because you’ve been forgiven and cleansed that you’re holy before God because of this cleansing
You’d remember that you’re now in right standing before God because of this cleansing
You’d remember that you have a new heart that that has God’s character traits encoded within it
You’d remember that His spirit is in you
You’d remember that God is not holding your sins against you, even the sin of not being godly enough
You’d remember that you’re free from the law and that you’re not saved by works
You’d remember that you’re under grace and God is seeking to continually transform you into the image of Jesus
The list goes on…
Because you’d remember those things you mind would be renewed to your true eternal identity in Christ and you’d naturally bear the fruit of the character traits Peter suggests should be part of your faith.
The conclusion is that if you aren’t living godly, remember all these things, and it will renew your mind to the point that you experience transformation and naturally live how God would lead you to.
It’s a beautiful thing when you recognize the power of our freedom in Christ and how God’s spirit works best in us when our hearts are free from the condemnation of not being good enough. It may be paradoxical but powerful for certain.
Then What?
Keep in mind we’re talking about growth in your personal life. We’re also talking about moving forward in your assignment from God. I just know that all kinds of things will come up to keep you down and I want you to be prepared to overcome them when they do.
Once you have this process as part of your faith-walk in Christ you can face and conquer anything. This process will not allow you to stay in sin. This process will not allow you to stay in a place of debilitating limitations. It will remind you of the power that works in you and compel you to follow God freely and boldly!!
From then on you’re only limited by your unwillingness to remind yourself of how free and unlimited you are in Him!!
Whether you think you can, or whether you think you can’t, you’re right ~ Henry Ford
Practical Example
So let’s say you need to add more self-control to your faith walk with Jesus. You may need more self-control because you keep sinning. It would be important for you to go to God and confess your sin but you must do it from the attitude that you’re already forgiven, you’re not going to him for forgiveness, you’re acknowledging and remembering that you’re already cleansed and in right relationship with him.
This process promotes personal responsibility to guard your freedom and not slip back in to sin.
When you go to God with your sin as a believer, you aren’t seeking to be forgiven, you’re seeking to be reminded by God that you were already forgiven. It is incredibly powerful to know that you have not lost standing with God, that it was all in your own mind.
Now - because of your failures you may feel a sense of remorse for your sin, which is appropriate. As you recapture the reality that you’re already cleansed in Christ, it repositions your mind to walk in what’s already true of you.
You can’t become more virtuous, but you may forget that you already possess that character trait in Christ.
You’re not confessing sin to become forgiven, you’re doing it to be reminded that you already are. As you remember who you are in him, you will begin to display those attributes.
Know That It’s Coming
If you experience an old emotion, an old sin or something else from your past as you try to move forward, just remember that your heart is serving things up to you something that you need to process and let go.
If you bury something in your heart and never deal with it, when you go digging in there to get rid of it, the aroma of that thing may resurface. You may not have been equipped with the transformative power of the Gospel when you stuffed that issue away in your heart.
Now you have the knowledge and the grace to get rid of it for good!!
So be ready. As you seek to grow and step into your calling and assignment from God, you may be your own worst enemy. You may have such deeply rooted beliefs that try to hold you back - BUT - now you know how to deal with them. Now you know who you are in Christ. Now you know the sufficiency of Christ’s sacrifice on your behalf, and you can face anything about yourself and come out victorious in Christ!!!
You stand in a place of connection with the father that’s based on the finished work of Christ. He loves you, he has forgiven you, and you’re safe in him. From that place you can deal with anything, no matter what comes up, you can get it out of your life and get rid of it for good. No matter the limitation, you can take it to God and experience the power to be free.
How to Always be Effective and Fruitful
Do you want to always be fruitful and effective? Do this:
Make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:5-8
Peter says if you do these things it will keep you from being ineffective and unfruitful.
I think we’d all agree these are good qualities that every Jesus follower should have in their lives. So what does it mean if you do not have these qualities, what should you do? Does it mean you need to work harder to be a better Christian? Let’s see…
Do you want to always be fruitful and effective? Do this:
Make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Peter 1:5-8
Peter says if you do these things it will keep you from being ineffective and unfruitful.
I think we’d all agree these are good qualities that every Jesus follower should have in their lives. So what does it mean if you do not have these qualities, what should you do? Does it mean you need to work harder to be a better Christian? Let’s see…
For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. 2 Peter 1:9
Peter’s solution is this - remember that you’re forgiven and your sins have been cleansed.
In other words, affirm the finished work of Christ and your identity in Him and godly character will be the fruit.
Because you are already forgiven and cleansed from all your sin, you should seek to live out the character of God. In fact, you cannot live out the character of God in your life without being cleansed, forgiven and in-dwelt by his spirit. This doesn’t mean you should continue in sin, God forbid, we’re under grace, not sin.
You Were Already Cleansed
Peter says if you are not living out these character attributes it’s because you have forgotten that you were already cleansed. Because God has cleansed you, the qualities and character traits are a byproduct, not something you strive to add to your behavior.
Peter says if you’re not displaying this fruit, it’s not because you aren’t truly saved, it’s because you have forgotten that you have already been sanctified and made holy.
Why do I equate Peter’s phrase “sins were cleansed” with sanctification and holiness? Because they’re the SAME THING. The process by which God cleanses you of sin is sanctification. Once something is properly sanctified it is holy.
Sanctification is a one-time event in your spirit that then has lasting effects in the rest of your being.
How Do You “Add To Your Faith?”
You can’t add to your salvation, but you can add to your faith.
First of all, the definition of faith is “to be confidently persuaded.”
Adding to your faith means you do things that reinforce your confidence in God so you’re more persuaded of who he is.
Living uprightly causes your heart to be confident before God. When you’re confident before God, you will not limit his actions in your life. John actually says you’ll have everything you ask when your heart is confident before God.
Here’s my paraphrase of what Peter is saying, “It’s hard out there guys, make sure you’re not drawing back in your faith. I have seen Jesus, the resurrected Jesus, I know what it’s like to deny him and turn your back on him. I don’t want you to lose faith and do what I did. Live well so your life testifies of God and his righteousness. Strive to display godly character. And if you become ineffective and unfruitful, remind yourself of the FINISHED WORK of Christ in your heart. Remember all that he has done for you. In remembering, you bring glory and honor to God because remembering manifests in strong faith.”
So if you’re not living in a way that “good Christians” should live, it’s because you aren’t presently experiencing the power of the Gospel, you’re not inspired by Christ’s actions for you, you’re not living from your new-covenant, new-creation identity - you’ve forgotten you’re already forgiven.
Why Is This Important?
Too many Christians think they have to become better as if they’re not already complete in him and they need to become something more than they already are. More righteous, more sanctified, more holy, etc… Peter affirms that you’re already cleansed, you’re already all those things, so if you aren’t living that way, go back and affirm who you are and what he’s done.
Too many Christians don’t understand the sufficiency of the sacrifice of Christ for salvation and a blessed, godly life. I want you to be confident in your salvation and know that you can’t improve on what God has done. You can only deepen your appreciation and understanding for what he’s already done, and as you do so it bears godly fruit in your life.
Homework
Let me give you some homework, go through these attributes and look up each word in a Greek lexicon. (click for lexicon links)
2 Peter 1:5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith virtue; and to virtue, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.
Take some time to think about what each one of them looks like in your life. Get a vision for what each attribute looks like in your life. Affirm who you are in Christ and make decisions that are in alignment with these character traits.
Keeping in mind that you are not trying to become these things, you are just getting a vision for what they look like as the fruit of a person that is already forgiven and right with God.
Rest in him, be confident of your new-creation identity in Christ and never forget you’re forgiven.
These FREE series go deeper into your new-creation identity:
You don't need answers, you need RESOLVE.
Life happens. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s an unexpected blessing, sometimes it’s an unfortunate loss. Sometimes it’s welcoming a new child into your home, sometimes it’s losing a loved one. No matter what, we have reason to stay confident toward God knowing that he only has good plans for us.
When the bad things happen we tend to seek answers. How we see God will color what kind of answers we seek and which kinds of questions we’ll ask in the first place.
It’s fine to have questions but you really don’t need answers, you need resolve. Resolve over the character of God. Before you arrive at your conclusions about God and the circumstance you find yourself in, make sure you are standing firmly on the true character of God.
Life happens. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s not. Sometimes it’s an unexpected blessing, sometimes it’s an unfortunate loss. Sometimes it’s welcoming a new child into your home, sometimes it’s losing a loved one. No matter what, we have every reason to stay confident toward God, knowing that he only has good plans for us.
When the bad things happen we tend to seek answers. How we see God will color what kind of answers we seek and which kinds of questions we’ll ask in the first place.
Our church family just experienced one of those tragedies that beg difficult questions.
I’m sorry to say that we lost a beloved member of our Forward Church family this weekend, Michael Owens suffered a massive heart attack and entered the arms of Jesus around 3pm Saturday, December 14, 2019. His wife Donna was by his side as he entered into his eternal reward.
I know Michael, he was a friend. He wasn’t just a “church member,'“ he was part of my life. He was always the first person to talk to me about my sermons and how much he got out of them. He would tell me that God would use my words to instruct him throughout the week. Of course, they were God’s words to begin with, but he would always relate back to me what he was applying each week from the message. He did this for years. He told me the reason he stayed at Forward after his first visit was because I seemed to really believe what I was preaching about the goodness of God and it helped him believe. Michael was an electrician, he rewired our church without charging us labor costs, he gathered other friends and raised money to bless Sara and me with landscape lighting for our yard, and he would always buy my lunch if I ran into him in a restaurant. Mike was the salt of the earth. Above all, Michael was 100% convinced that God is good and only good! I’ll miss him.
Now allow me to address the questions that arise in difficulty from a more general perspective.
Questions
When someone leaves us prematurely, we have questions. When a child suffers a debilitating illness we have questions. When we lose our job, we have questions. When our marriages fall apart, we have questions.
It’s fine to have questions but you really don’t need answers, you need resolve. Resolve over the character of God. Before you arrive at your conclusions about God and the circumstance you find yourself in, make sure you are standing firmly on the true character of God.
Before adopting beliefs about God from your circumstances, and before changing your approach to faith, take time to reinforce the truth about God in your heart. Tell your mind and heart who God is rather than letting the circumstance inform your belief about God.
Sometimes that’s really hard to do, especially if your circumstances don’t reflect a particular character trait of God. It’s especially hard if you were standing on one of his promises but it didn’t come to pass.
The most important thing to do is guard your heart, even from yourself at times. Always reinforce who God is to yourself, especially in times of questioning his faithfulness.
I’ve seen people go through difficulty and then distance themselves from God. Sometimes because their faith was shallow, sometimes because the relationship that failed was unhealthy, and the sometimes distance themselves from God because they are holding God responsible for the circumstance.
God has given us free will, some folks call it permissive will. He has plans for us but sometimes our choices derail us from arriving safely into those plans. If we blame God for our derailment we will come to the wrong conclusion about his faithfulness. All I can say is be careful! Guard your heart against anything that contradicts the character of God, including your own thoughts and emotions.
God Is Good
If we’re willing to be honest with ourselves, we’ll always come to the conclusion that God is for us, he’s seeking to bless us and he’s not introducing the pain in our lives, but how we respond to difficulty will determine if we’ll keep our hearts open to all those truths about God.
It’s easy to amen preaching about the promises of God when things are going your way, but do you continue to trust that God is faithful to his word when your life is not working out?
The world needs to see a group of people, Jesus followers, who are confident in the identity of God. The world, even the believing world, is starving for truth, for something to believe in.
We believe in God, we trust God, we stand firm in the knowledge that God is merciful, kind and loving, and we can’t back down from that conviction.
It’s not just a positive confession, it’s a decision to always believe the truth about God. God is a healer, God is a provider, God is a comforter, always, no matter what. When we don’t experience those promises and attributes it’s not because he changed or is withholding himself, it’s because life happens.
In this world there will be trouble, you can’t avoid it. And along with that trouble is the opportunity to question the character and faithfulness of God. But we must have a spiritual and eternal perspective of God, he is who he is no matter what. Stand firmly on that foundation and you’ll always have a lighthouse to lead you back to the harbor in the middle of the storm.
This Is God’s Heart Toward Us
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? 28 And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, 29 yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. 33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. 34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
God desires to provide and care for us because he has great value for us. When we face any adversity and are tempted to question the faithfulness and integrity of God, we must take time to remind ourselves of passages like this, passages that affirm God’s kind heart toward us, so we will not drawback.
There is no going back! Stay confident in him and who he is!
Identity + Promise + Faith = Mind Renewal unto Transformation
Jesus said he was going to prepare a place for us so we can be with him. I think it’s safe to call that place Heaven, would you agree? What is that place like? What is Heaven like? Take a minute and think about that for a minute before you finish reading this article.
For real, think about Heaven, where Jesus is walking around right now…
I’m a pastor, so teaching doctrine properly is important, but I want to suspend doctrine for a minute and just think about some things.
When I think about Jesus preparing a place for us, it makes me think of his prayer “your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” It’s something he wants for us. I think about what the garden of Eden must have been like, in all its perfection. I think of what it would have been like to see Jesus transform and openly talk with Moses and Elijah. It makes me think of all the times supernatural encounters with angels and the presence of God happened to ordinary men and women in the Bible.
Jesus said he was going to prepare a place for us so we can be with him. I think it’s safe to call that place Heaven, would you agree? What is that place like? What is Heaven like?
Take a minute and think about that before you finish reading this article.
For real, think about Heaven, where Jesus is walking around right now…
I’m a pastor, so teaching doctrine properly is important, but I want to suspend doctrine for a minute and just think about some things.
Jesus Is At Work
When I think about Jesus preparing a place for us, it makes me think of his prayer “your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” It’s something he wants for us.
I think about what the garden of Eden must have been like, in all its perfection. I think of what it would have been like to see Jesus transform and openly speak with Moses and Elijah. It makes me think of all the supernatural encounters with angels ordinary men and women in the Bible experienced.
It makes me think Jesus must want us to experience Heaven if he’s going through the process of preparing it for us. Like…right now, maybe he’s walking around Heaven inspecting things to make sure they’re just right for you. Maybe he’s walking with your loved ones that have gone before you and they’re excited for you to see what he’s prepared for you. Maybe they’re giving him insight into what you like, helping him make everything just right. WOW!!!
I don’t necessarily have a doctrine for that but I do know he’s preparing a place for us, and it’s fun to think about what it will be like.
Continuing on that same path, I think of these passages that instruct us on what to think about…
Colossians 3:1 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
Ephesians 4:17 Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. 18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. 19 They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. 20 But that is not the way you learned Christ!— 21 assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, 22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, 24 and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Philippians 4:4 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. 5 Let your reasonableness (fairness) be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; 6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Why is there so much focus on your thoughts? Why is there so much instruction on what to think about?
Because as a man thinks in his heart, so is he (Proverbs 23:7a). Because you are transformed by renewing your mind (Romans 12:2).
You do what you think. You attract to you what you think about. Your thoughts determine your emotions which drive choices. Your life is shaped by what you think.
How you think and what you think about are the main factors in the current condition of your life. So if you want an area of your life to change, you first have to start by changing how and what you think in that area.
Practical Application
Pick an area of life you want to change and walk through this process…
Identify the area
Admit the truth to yourself about that area, good or bad
Identify an aspect of the great exchange in Jesus that applies to that area
For example; he died so I can live, he became sin so I can become righteous, he was judged so I can be free, he took on my sorrows so I can have his joy, he took on my disease so I can be healed, he faced temptation so I can overcome sin, he fulfilled that Law so I won’t be judged for righteousness, he became poor so I can be rich
Believe the good report of the results of the Gospel for you
Think about yourself as Colossians 3 says, your old life id dead and you’re now alive in Christ.
Hold the new reality in your heart, mind, and emotions until you become persuaded that your situation can change for the better. Think about it from Heaven’s perspective that it’s already true of you.
Be patient and don’t lose ground in your heart through fear and worry
We are to live in the newness of the spirit. It is possible because Jesus died for us, in Him we are dead to sin and death. But how do we live in it? How do we walk by faith and confidence in him and his faithfulness!! Through mind renewal, just like Abraham. Abraham didn’t consider his infertile body or the deadness of Sarah’s womb, he considered the promise God made.
What promise of God are you considering? What promise of God, that may seem impossible, are you more persuaded of than your current situation?
As we have faith, as we have confidence, we engage in mind-renewal and experience transformation. By remaining patient under tribulation but also walking in love. By casting down imaginations that tell us that God’s promises aren’t for us.
Test Yourself to See If You’re Persuaded of God’s Promise
Think of a promise that relates to your life. You probably already know one, but if you don’t, take a moment and find a promise in the Bible that relates to your situation. Google can find one for you if you don’t know where to look.
Once you have that promise, say it out loud. For example, “I am free from the power of sin.” Or “God gives me the power to get wealth.” Or “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” After you say it out loud, see how you feel inside. Notice if God’s promise feels true for you, or if you feel doubt and unbelief.
IMPORTANT!!
If you feel doubt and unbelief, think about Jesus walking around in Heaven, preparing the perfect place for you. Set your mind above where he is in Heaven, King and Lord of all. He’s paying attention to every detail so it’ll be just right for his brothers and sisters - you and me. He’s excited for Heaven, for all of us to be together. Notice his face, he wants to give you eternal life and take away all the pain and sorrow. He wants to show you what he’s prepared for you.
Now, you probably have no doubt believing that you will have no lack, disease or sorrow in Heaven. I dare you to believe that Jesus wants the same quality of life for you now and is seeking to prepare that kind of life for you, right here, right now.
Yes, we still have these bodies that crave sin if we let them, those bodies are still subject to death, but remember all those instructions on what to think about. Remember that your transformation lies within your mind-renewal. Remember that he’s a good father who will not give you stones if you ask for bread.
The real issue is that you may think change only happens when you get your behavior right. But it’s just the opposite, when you get your thinking right, everything else lines up, from the inside out. His spirit is like a seed within you, growing into kingdom life through you. His will is to build Heaven for you. Dare to dream and believe that God has good things for you in this life and is preparing them for you, even as you read this.
Sit back, relax, and believe.
Listen to the full series Living in the Power of Righteousness
God Performed Spiritual Surgery On You So You Can Have A New Life
The Gospel is Powerful in 2 Ways
THE INFORMATION OF THE GOSPEL: It’s incredibly wonderful information to know that God is no longer holding your sins against you and offers the free gift of righteousness and eternal life by grace through faith in Christ. But it doesn’t stop there, there are results of believing this truth.
THE RESULTS OF BELIEVING THE GOSPEL: The results of believing the Gospel are even better. He removes your old heart and gives you a new one that knows how to hear and follow him. God places his spirit in you. You become a new creature in Christ. After those things, you are actually righteous and holy because of the work of the spirit in you. You are empowered with graces to bless others. You are qualified for all the blessings of Abraham. God will never leave you or forsake you. He’ll lead and guide you into truth and blessing. The list just goes on and on.
“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, “The righteous shall live by faith.””
The Gospel is Powerful in 2 Ways
THE INFORMATION OF THE GOSPEL: It’s incredibly wonderful information to know that God is no longer holding your sins against you and offers the free gift of righteousness and eternal life by grace through faith in Christ. But it doesn’t stop there, there are results of believing this truth.
THE RESULTS OF BELIEVING THE GOSPEL: The results of believing the Gospel are even better. He removes your old heart and gives you a new one that knows how to hear and follow him. God places his spirit in you. You become a new creature in Christ. After those things, you are actually righteous and holy because of the work of the spirit in you. You are empowered with graces to bless others. You are qualified for all the blessings of Abraham. God will never leave you or forsake you. He’ll lead and guide you into truth and blessing. The list just goes on and on.
Check out these resources that expound on your new creation identity and the promises that are now available.
The Good news that you are no longer obligated to God through law should be good enough news to your heart that you naturally obey him by faith. Obedience from the heart is still impossible without receiving a new one. God needed to perform surgery and make you a new kind of creature.
He cut out your diseased heart/nature and put in a new one, a spiritual heart transplant, if you will. He didn’t just cut out the disease, he replaced it with new living tissue, with eternal life flowing through it.
He gives you righteousness, so he can give you a new heart, so you can receive grace and live by faith in the freedom of the spirit.
I’ll talk more about what it means to “live by faith” in an upcoming article, for now, let’s look closer at this spiritual surgery God performed in you.
Romans 2:25 For circumcision indeed is of value if you obey the law, but if you break the law, your circumcision becomes uncircumcision. 26 So, if a man who is uncircumcised keeps the precepts of the law, will not his uncircumcision be regarded as circumcision? 27 Then he who is physically uncircumcised but keeps the law will condemn you who have the written code and circumcision but break the law. 28 For no one is a Jew who is merely one outwardly, nor is circumcision outward and physical. 29 But a Jew is one inwardly, and circumcision is a matter of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter. His praise is not from man but from God.
Paul is speaking to people familiar with the Law and the ritual of circumcision given to Abraham. His point in this passage is that circumcision of the flesh is good but something else needs to happen for a person to live in the newness of spirit that he’s trying to explain to them. He elaborates in his letter to the Colossians.
Colossians 2:11 In him also you were circumcised with a circumcision made without hands, by putting off the body of the flesh, by the circumcision of Christ, 12 having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead. 13 And you, who were dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made alive together with him, having forgiven us all our trespasses, 14 by canceling the record of debt that stood against us with its legal demands. This he set aside, nailing it to the cross. 15 He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.
The word “flesh” in the phrase “body of flesh” is the Greek word SARX. Sarx has two applications. It refers to your physical body (flesh) AND it refers to the nature of man. God cut away your old nature and replaced it with the righteousness of Christ. You truly are a new creature!!
New Heart / New Life
It is absolutely vital that you know the effects of believing the Gospel, i.e. you get a new heart. You don’t have two natures fighting in you. You don’t have a black dog and a white dog barking at your heels in you. You are the righteousness of God in Christ! You are no longer a sinner by nature, you are a cleansed and justified child of the living God!
Jesus didn’t die to open the door to Heaven for you. He didn’t die for you and then say “I hope you make it.” He did something in you to ensure your eternal salvation, he changed you.
Knowing the Gospel isn’t just knowing that Jesus died for you, it’s knowing and living in the power of its effects. Those effects are your new life in him. The results of believing the Gospel are largely overlooked by most Christians. Too many Christians don’t understand what God did in them when they were born again.
I’m convinced that if more believers actually believed in the power of the spirit in them we would be a much more effective influence for his kingdom in this world. We would live in the power of this new life. We would see his blessings manifest more often in our lives.
I want that! I want to experience the promises of this new life, don’t you?
Unfortunately, your body still remembers what it’s like to be dead and enslaved to sin, but if you can renew your mind to the new work that God has done in you, you will actually be a slave to righteousness and obey God by faith from the heart. Don’t worry, he’ll supply enough grace to do so. He doesn’t supply grace for you to obey, obedience is just the byproduct, he supplies grace for you to live in the new kind of life he provides.
I want to help you do more than just know the Gospel, I want to help you live in the power of its results! Please stay tuned to this series for practical ways to live by faith in the newness of life that God offers in Christ.
To Jesus, judgment is when you “look at the speck of sawdust in another person’s eye.” He says STOP IT! Don’t do that! When you look at the speck you no longer see that person, you only see the speck. The speck is whatever issue or behavior you are judging about that person.
His remedy is to remove the plank in your own eye so you can see clearly to help them remove the speck from their eye. The plank in your eye is your judgment of that person. Your judgment is clouding you from seeing the person apart from the speck, you only see the problem. Remove your judgment and you will see clearly to help them.
Notice he doesn’t say to ignore the speck. Jesus wants you to address the speck, if you see someone caught in sin you are to help restore them. But if you only see their problem, it will blind you from helping them in a healthy way.
God is not holding our sins against us, we should not hold people’s sins against them either. Love keeps no record of wrong. Does that mean they get away with it? No way, they’ll reap what they sow, but you’re not the judge, jury, and punisher.