Overcoming Temptation and Unbelief
James is saying, count it all joy when you’re tempted and your faith is tested because it’s an opportunity to trust God and develop patience. BUT!! Don’t say it’s from God. Pretty clear, God doesn’t tempt you or create trials for you.
But doesn’t God test us? Yes, but not like you think.
Here’s how God tests you.
This is a bottom-line kind of article. I explain the subject in much more detail in the video. I cover the highlights in this article. Read this passage from James chapter 1 closely.
James 1:13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 1 5Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created.
James is saying, count it all joy when you're tempted and your faith is tested because it's an opportunity to trust God and develop patience. BUT!! Don't say it's from God. Pretty clear, God doesn't tempt you or create trials for you.
But doesn't God test us? Yes, but not like you think.
Here's how God tests you.
John 6:5 When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” 6 He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.
He tests you to see if you're in faith toward him, not to see if you'll pass an external test.
What about trials that cause suffering? The only kind of suffering God endorses is persecution for preaching the Gospel. God encourages you to remain steady and faithful when you suffer persecution for your faith because it compels you to trust him. As you welcome the persecution of your faith in hostile territories, you have an opportunity to share in Christ's sufferings. If you stay open to the holy spirit, you can experience a deep level of holiness in those moments. The suffering doesn't make you holy; only the blood of Jesus can do that. But when suffering persecution, the holiness you have been given rises from your heart.
External temptation, trials, and tribulation are also an opportunity to trust God and experience the precious holiness you were given, but DON'T SAY IT'S FROM GOD.
1 Corinthians 10:13 adds a bit more clarity.
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide an escape, so that you can stand up under it.
This sounds like God is sending the temptation and the way of escape. But remember, James 1:13 says DON'T SAY IT'S FROM GOD. The Word of God doesn't contradict itself.
1 Corinthians 10:13 is actually a promise. When you are going through difficulty, whether it be temptation or an external trial, God will help you. He will give you strength. He will not leave you on your own.
Contrary to popular belief, this passage does not say, "God won't put more on you than you can bear." I'm sure you have heard that, or maybe even believe that. But that is not what he is saying, as evidenced by James 1:13 - DON'T SAY IT'S FROM GOD.
Overcoming Temptation
Now that we've established that God is not bi-polar, he is not giving you the temptation/trial and the way of escape, let's talk about how to stay strong when your faith is tested.
God will always give you the solution for trials/temptation. Here's the process outlined in James 1.
Patience (strength to endure) - James 1:3
Wisdom (what to do) - James 1:5
His spirit is available (where patience and wisdom come from) - James 1:5
Confidence (not double-mindedness) - James 1:6
PATIENCE + WISDOM = OVERCOMING THE TRYING OF YOUR FAITH
When you're tempted or under a trial, turn to God's spirit within you and allow patience to bear fruit. Patience will eliminate most of your temptations. If you can just want a few minutes, or however long you need to clear your emotions and desires from the forefront, you can make a decision based on wisdom rather than emotion and desire.
Once you've allowed patience to bear fruit in the face of temptation, your heart and mind will be more clear to apply God's instruction, which is wisdom. And God will always respond and lead you into truth.
But there's a warning, don't doubt God's wisdom, be willing to put it into practice to overcome the temptation and trial of your faith. If you allow doubt to take root, don't expect to hear God clearly.
Most people teach that if you have doubt, then God won't give you what you need, but James clarifies, if you have doubt, you won't be able to receive from him because of where you are in your heart toward God.
You don't have to ask God to "give" you anything. All he is and everything he has is in Christ. If Christ is in you, God has already given you everything he has. All the answers to your prayers are in "seed form" through Christ in you. Belief and trust in the character of God are all it takes to see his provision in your life, in any area.
His spirit in you wants to grow into your life and become the things you need, but your heart must entirely rely on him. Don't be double-minded, trusting in the temporary provision. God is unlimited in how he can manifest provision in your life. Believe and trust. Spend time persuading your heart of his character and promises.
Dig deep and allow patience to bear fruit. Ask God for wisdom. And DO IT!
Jesus Will Not Give Up On You
Peter lied to Jesus and denied knowing him. What did Jesus do to Peter? Jesus died for him, conquered the grave and rose from the dead, then came looking for him. You’d think Jesus would mention Peter’s denial of him, but he didn’t. He met him where he was and affirmed his calling. Jesus will do the same for you.
If you feel like you’ve grown distant from God in your heart, I can assure you, God has not grown distant toward you. God’s affection for you is not affected by yours for him.
Peter lied to Jesus and denied knowing him. What did Jesus do to Peter? Jesus died for him, conquered the grave and rose from the dead, then came looking for him. You’d think Jesus would mention Peter’s denial of him, but he didn’t. He met him where he was and affirmed his calling. Jesus will do the same for you.
If you feel like you’ve grown distant from God in your heart, I can assure you, God has not grown distant toward you. God’s affection for you is not affected by yours for him.
A Lesson from Peter
John 21:15 So when they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My lambs.” 16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Shepherd My sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Tend My sheep.
You don’t catch it in the English translation, but Jesus and Peter are using two different words for love. Jesus is using agape, which is a self-sacrificial love. But Peter is using phileo, which is a brotherly kind of love. Jesus is asking Peter if he is willing to lay down his life for him, and Peter pretty much says they’re good friends.
Peter is probably feeling ashamed since he denied Jesus. He’s probably thinking he isn’t worthy to follow Jesus since he made such a huge mistake. But Jesus sees it differently. Jesus doesn’t changes his mind toward Peter and what he wants him to do for him.
Does this sound familiar? Have you ever failed Jesus and felt ashamed? Maybe even to the point of thinking you aren’t worthy to do something for God? I’m here to tell you, Jesus hasn’t given up on you. Watch this sermon to hear this idea unpacked fully. I believe it will encourage you.
The Most Underrated Passage In Scripture - Colossians 2
I pray you have a fruitful and fulfilling walk with the Lord. You are called to follow Jesus as his disciple. It’s pretty simple, a disciple is someone who follows a teacher and applies their teachings. Jesus said following his teachings (yoke) is easy, and his burden is light. Yoke and burden are euphemisms for his teachings and the requirements of those teachings. He said it this way…
I pray you have a fruitful and fulfilling walk with the Lord. You are called to follow Jesus as his disciple. It’s pretty simple, a disciple is someone who follows a teacher and applies their teachings. Jesus said following his teachings (yoke) is easy, and his burden is light. Yoke and burden are euphemisms for his teachings and the requirements of those teachings. He said it this way.
““Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.””
Jesus isn’t speaking of physical burdens, he was correcting the heavy burden of the system of works that the Pharisees laid on the backs of people. Jesus later rebukes the Pharisees for putting heavy burdens on the shoulders of the people in Matthew 23:4.
The “yoke of the Pharisees” is the burdensome yoke of self-righteousness and legalistic law-keeping. The yoke of Jesus is to love God and love people. The way to walk under that yoke is to renew your mind and put on the new man. As you renew your mind, you allow God’s grace to strengthen and transform you. Easy and light.
BUT you MUST renew your mind. You can not follow Jesus in the power of his spirit, walking in true love, without a renewed mind.
Knowing the written word is one of the best resources to use to renew your mind to how God thinks and what he says about you. But just reading the Bible isn’t powerful, engaging it at a heart level is required for real transformation. In these two sermons, I walk you through the process of reading His word until it becomes alive.
You can’t just read it, you have to sit in it and let it sit in you until your heart grasps something and that spark of life happens. Call it a revelation, call it an experience, call it manifestation, it really doesn’t matter, but without it, the Bible is not much more than history, poetry and doctrine.
Watch part one (How to Receive Revelation) if you haven’t already watched, and then come back to prat two. I walk through Colossians 1 and 2 in these two sermons as an example of how to read the Bible in such a way that it becomes a living word for you.
Download the series
You Can Know God’s Ways
MESSAGE TITLES
How to Receive Revelation from God - Colossians 1
The Most Underrated Passage in the Bible - Colossians 2
You Can Know God's Ways
God's Love Delivers Grace to Your Heart
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Discover the benefits of relaxation and focused meditation in God’s Word.
Your Self-Portrait In Your Heart Should Look Like Jesus
Whether you realize it or not, you have spent a lifetime working on your self-portrait. This is not an external painting, it’s an image of yourself in your heart. You have constructed a detailed picture of who you believe you are that drives every belief, thought, emotion, and choice you will ever make.
Every time you have a decision to make, you look at your self-portrait. That internal image reminds you of who you are. This is not a conscious process. This is a subconscious process that happens in your heart without thinking about it. What you see in your self-portrait may or may not reflect the truth.
Ultimately that self-portrait in your heart should look like Jesus, but you painted over that image with pain, fear, failure, and sin. The good news is, the original image remains!
Whether you realize it or not, you have spent a lifetime working on your self-portrait. This is not an external painting, it’s an image of yourself in your heart. You have constructed a detailed picture of who you believe you are that drives every belief, thought, emotion, and choice you will ever make.
Every time you have a decision to make, you look at your self-portrait. That internal image reminds you of who you are. This is not a conscious process. This is a subconscious process that happens in your heart without thinking about it. What you see in your self-portrait may or may not reflect the truth.
Ultimately that self-portrait in your heart should look like Jesus, but you painted over that image with pain, fear, failure, and sin. The good news is, the original image remains!
Jesus Painted A Masterpiece In Your Heart
Jesus painted an image of you as well. His portrait of you looks just like him. He used the spirit of God and his own blood to paint a new you. As he painted, he didn’t just paint over the old you, he thoroughly washed away the former you and started fresh. He is not still working on that painting, it’s finished. He completed that new image of you. That new image looks exactly like him. He painted you as holy and righteous. His painting will last forever, and it will never fade.
At any time, you can look inward and see his image in your heart. That’s the secret to the Christian life, looking inwardly to remember that Jesus has created a new you. When you are not living up to the standards of the new you, you simply need to remember to look at Christ’s image in you.
You simply renew your mind, remember what he did in you, and his power comes alive inside you.
The Magic Painting Of Jesus
Well, it’s not really magic, but it makes for a fun headline. It’s more like a graceful, but his grace works wonders. His grace is better than magic.
The image that Jesus painted of himself in you has powers. When you look at it, it can give you strength, joy, and peace. Can you imagine that? Looking at the image of Christ within can cause you to receive power that you don’t have on your own. Gazing upon Jesus in your heart causes his spirit to flow through your heart into your mind, body, and out into your life.
His spirit in you works like a seed. His spirit spreads its roots out through your entire being and begins to bear fruit after its own kind. The powerful painting of Jesus within can live its life through you in such a way that you simply enjoy the journey.
Any time you face temptation or difficulty in this life, you can turn your attention to the image of Christ within, and it will give you power.
You Get To Help Others Remember Who They Are
We have the honor of reminding our family members in Christ that the image of Jesus is in them as well. When you see a fellow believer struggling or falling for the traps of division in this world, you have the honor of describing the beautiful painting Jesus completed in their own hearts.
When others can’t see the image of Christ within, you get to hold up a picture of Christ and remind them how beautiful he is, how beautiful he is within them, and how beautiful they are.
We all forget what we look like. We all spray graffiti over the image of Christ in our new hearts at times. When we fail to see the image of Christ within, we need each other to remind us.
Right now, it seems like our world is on fire. It looks like the enemy has successfully deployed a strategy of division. I would never want to minimize legitimate issues our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ are facing, but we must pull together in our greater reality.
We are the family of God. There is no division in the body of Christ. The body of Christ is a work in progress, but each member is a completed masterpiece in our spirits. When we live from our spirits and see each other with our spiritual eyes, we will be indestructible to the enemy.
Remember who you are. Gaze upon the beautiful image of Christ within. See that same image in your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Remind them of who they are. Remind yourself of who you are. Together we can join hearts and allow God to fulfill his intents and purposes through us collectively.
I pray for unity in faith in the body of Christ. I pray we realize we have the same dad. I pray we treat each other with equal dignity and worth Jesus crowned us with. I pray we remember to put love first. I pray as you read this, you feel the power of the image of Christ in your heart.
Meditation
Spend a little time seeing Christ in you. Allow his spirit to shape how you see yourself. If you’re struggling in an area, see Christ living successfully through you in that area. Yield to his grace to empower you and allow his love for you to make you whole.
God Crowns You with Dignity, Honor, Worth, Value and Respect
God has the utmost respect for you. He has a high sense of value for you. You are worth his own life. You are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect because of the kind of being you are (crowned with glory and honor).
Being made in God’s image doesn’t mean you look like him; it means you are a being that’s worthy to be in his class. You are not a worm. You are a valuable creature, born of God’s image, carrying his presence everywhere you go.
What if you believed that about yourself?
What if you believed that about others?
“What is man that You are mindful of him, or the son of man that You care for him? You made him a little lower than the angels; You crowned him with glory and honor. You made him ruler of the works of Your hands...”
God has the utmost respect for you. He has a high sense of value for you. You are worth his own life. You are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect because of the kind of being you are (crowned with glory and honor).
Being made in God’s image doesn’t mean you look like him; it means you are a being that’s worthy to be in his class. You are not a worm. You are a valuable creature, born of God’s image, carrying his presence everywhere you go.
What if you believed that about yourself?
What if you believed that about others?
In Psalm 8, David is pondering the existence of humankind. He asks a question, then prophesies God’s answer to himself. The word “angels” is the word Elohim, which is the plural word for God. Man is a little lower than God, not the angels.
He has crowned us with GLORY and HONOR. The word “glory” in this context means dignity, honor, worth, value and respect. You are a dignified being with great worth and value to God.
I’m convinced that if we had the same worth for ourselves, we would live much cleaner and God-honoring lives. I’m confident that if we had the same respect and value for each other, we would create a much more loving and supportive society.
That’s the point of Christ’s commandment - LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
WE CAN REACH THE WORLD BY UNITING IN OUR LOVE FOR ONE ANOTHER
Loving one another is a multi-layered concept; let’s break it down a bit.
God loves us (while we were dead in our sin)
We respond by loving him (we love him because he first loved us)
We’re commanded to love one another
Our love for one another is a testimony that we follow Jesus
Our unity convinces the world the God sent Jesus for them too
How do we develop love for one another to the degree that it convinces the world to believe that God sent Jesus to save them?
The answer is in Jesus’ prayer from John 17. (full chapter link)
JOHN 17:20 I am not asking on behalf of them alone, but also on behalf of those who will believe in Me through their message, 21 that all of them may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I am in You. May they also be in Us, so that the world may believe that You sent Me. 22 I have given them the glory You gave Me, so that they may be one as We are one— 23 I in them and You in Me—that they may be perfectly united, so that the world may know that You sent Me and have loved them just as You have loved Me. (BSB)
Let me highlight again what I want to focus on for this article.
I have given them the glory You gave Me, so that they may be one as We are one— I in them and You in Me—that they may be perfectly united, so that the world may know that You sent Me and have loved them just as You have loved Me.
I HAVE GIVEN THEM MY GLORY SO THEY WILL BE ONE!!
How does possessing his glory make us one? Jesus is saying we have the same dignity, honor, value, and worth that he does. If we recognize that each member of his body shares equal dignity, honor, value, and worth, we will treat each other respectfully, holding to those values for each other.
Imagine if the unbelieving world saw the church treat each other with honor and respect!!
The world is craving identity. They want to belong to something. They want their lives to have worth and meaning. For believers, simply being in Christ adds meaning and value to our lives. Our task is to honor that glory in each other.
The world is raging. People are dividing into groups they identify with because it gives them some sense of worth. If they could see believers treating each other with value and respect, because we have the same father, they would want our father as well.
It’s simple to understand but challenging to put in to practice. It’s hard to lay aside our carnal differences and see each other through God’s eyes. But if we do, we might just have a shot at actually reaching the world with the good news of Christ’s saving grace.
God is love. I pray that his church is known as the same.
Forget Not The Benefits of Being God’s Child
The world’s systems can fall apart in a matter of days. The things we trust in and depend on can go away overnight. Then what? What do you do if you lose everything? Answer: Remember the Lord and forget not his benefits. God sees ahead and makes provision, our job is to stay receptive to him so we’ll follow his leading into provision.
It may take a while, you may have some difficult days or even years. You may have to work a job you don’t like for a while. You might lose your pension/retirement. But the Lord is with you and is able to do exceedingly above all you can ask or think.
Be wise, plan, save, invest, but remember those things are not your provision, they are simply tools to manage the Lord’s provision.
The reason we don’t cling to God and allow him to lead us through adversity into extravagant blessing is we forget about his benefits and lean to our own strength in the process. We become afraid or get mad at God that we’re going through a difficulty and close off our hearts to his spirit, and constrict his blessings from flowing in our lives. It’s the principle of the sower and the seed from Mark 4, the receptivity of your heart to God’s word determines the degree of his kingdom you’ll experience in this earth. (more on that topic here)
You have the responsibility to believe and co-labor with God. BUT!! REMEMBER!! You are not limited to your ability. You are not limited to what’s in your hands. You have God’s faith working in you and he is able to believe in a way you can’t imagine. But that doesn’t absolve you from believing, it’s a collaboration, so don’t forget his benefits.
“Bless the LORD, O my soul; all that is within me, bless His holy name. Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits...”
The world’s systems can fall apart in a matter of days. Things we depend on can crumble overnight. Then what? What do you do if you lose everything? Answer: Remember the Lord and forget not his benefits. God sees ahead and makes provision, and our job is to stay receptive to him, so we’ll follow his leading into provision.
It may take a while, and you may have some problematic days or even years. You may have to work a job you don’t like for a while. You might lose your pension/retirement. But the Lord is with you and can do exceedingly above all you can ask or think.
Be wise, plan, save, invest, but remember those things are not your provision; they are simply tools to manage the Lord’s provision.
The reason we don’t cling to God and allow him to lead us through adversity into extravagant blessing is we get scared and forget about his benefits and lean to our own strength in the process.
We become afraid or get mad at God that we’re going through adversity and harden our hearts to his spirit. We constrict the flow of his blessings by focusing on our problems and making them bigger them him.
It’s the principle of the sower, and the seed from Mark 4, the receptivity of your heart to God’s word determines the degree of his kingdom you’ll experience in this earth. (more on that topic here)
You have the responsibility to believe and co-labor with God. BUT REMEMBER!! You are not limited to your ability. You are not limited to what’s in your hands. You have God’s faith working in you. But that doesn’t absolve you from believing. It’s a collaboration, so don’t forget his benefits.
“Blessed be the Lord, Who daily loads us with benefits, The God of our salvation!”
Life happens while you’re waiting for those benefits to manifest. You have legitimate needs now, I get it. I have friends in the airline industry whose jobs are uncertain. They have not worked in months, and there seems to be no definitive return date.
I have pastor friends who have to relocate because they cannot make their building payments. The chef who has a fantastic restaurant next to our church has to move because the response to the virus killed his business. Life happens, and it’s not always loaded with God’s benefits.
But if you’ll remember, if you’ll keep our hearts open to him, if you’ll hold his promises in your heart and doubt not, you will see his provision. God is always speaking, and he is still leading you into truth and blessing, make sure you are not clouded with fear. Factor God into your life’s decisions. Click for an article entitled “God Is Constant In A World Full Of Variables.”
What Are His Benefits?
If you’re not supposed to forget his benefits, you have to know what they are in the first place. Start with his NAME. God is who he is, and he always behaves in a way that’s consistent with his character.
Check out this list of God’s names to remind yourself of who he is. If you remember who he is, it will help you remember his benefits, they’re the same.
Psalm 103 is another place where he lists his benefits. Let’s walk through the first five verses to learn how NOT to forget God’s benefits.
1 Bless the LORD, O my soul; all that is within me, bless His holy name.
David is speaking to himself, his own soul. He steps outside of his situation to instruct himself to bless the Lord with all that is within him. This is an exercise in repentance, he’s changing the way he thinks about his present situation, and himself, to direct his mind and heart to the Lord.
2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, And forget none of His benefits;
David refines his own instructions to focus on God’s benefits. When David is facing adversity, he chooses to focus on God’s promises and praise him from a different perspective.
3 He who forgives all your iniquities and heals all your diseases,
ALL!! Even under the Old Covenant, David knew God was merciful and forgiving. These are specific promises David is holding on to. He takes the time to remind himself of God’s character.
4 who redeems your life from the Pit and crowns you with loving-kindness and compassion,
David shifts from specific benefits like healing and forgiveness to more poetic and emotional benefits. God will lift you out of the hole, and he will deliver you from darkness, he will save you from the pits of life.
He also gives you a beautiful picture of God’s attitude toward you as he is healing you, forgiving you, and lifting you out of the pit. God does these things with kindness and compassion toward you. God didn’t have to reveal his heart toward us, but he did. He wants us to know how he feels about us as he forgives us. He loves you and wants to be kind to you.
You can use this as a meditative exercise. What does it feel like for the Lord to crown you with his love? How does he do that? What does his kindness feel like as it rests upon your head?
I love poetic moments like this in God’s word. They help us transcend our issues and step into God’s heart for us.
5 who satisfies you with good things, so that your youth is renewed like the eagles.
Keep in mind, David is reminding himself of who God is and how he relates to him. He’s repenting. He’s changing his mind and getting a grasp on his emotions, framing his inner world with God’s character and promises. David knows that the Lord is good, and he desires to strengthen us.
How can you apply what King David models to us in Psalm 103? How can you remember God’s benefits to transcend the emotions of your circumstances? What do you know about God that you can set your mind on and see manifest in your life? David didn’t just quote scripture. He spoke things to himself that are true about God, and then he experienced them. He held on to God’s character until he experienced the very things he knew about God.
Don’t give up, hold fast to God’s character, and he will renew you and load you with benefits. I recommend writing your own Psalm of self-encouragement. Instruct yourself to think on the Lord, include things you should remember. Then expect to see those things in your life, because the Lord is for you!
True Forgiveness
You know you are supposed to pray for people who have hurt you, but sometimes it's hard, especially if that person is still in your life. We're encouraged to forgive and move on, but forgiving the person who caused so much pain is not easy.
You might be in a position where that person, or possibly faith leaders in your life are pressuring you to forgive. I want to show you how to genuinely find forgiveness in your heart and get to a place where you can pray for and bless that person.
Before we get into how to pray for and bless those who have abused you, let's establish a few key points. Remind yourself of these truths as you process through forgiveness, into praying for and blessing your abuser.
““But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.”
You know you are supposed to pray for people who have hurt you, but sometimes it's hard, especially if that person is still in your life. We're encouraged to forgive and move on, but forgiving the person who caused so much pain is not easy.
You might be in a position where that person, or possibly faith leaders in your life are pressuring you to forgive. I want to show you how to genuinely find forgiveness in your heart and get to a place where you can pray for and bless that person.
Before we get into how to pray for and bless those who have abused you, let's establish a few key points. Remind yourself of these truths as you process through forgiveness, into praying for and blessing your abuser.
Forgiveness is not excusing their behavior
God has already forgiven you in Christ
God has already forgiven them in Christ
You can choose to let go of the pain
The pain no longer defines you
How Do I Know I Have Forgiven?
I hear this question often, "how do I know if I have forgiven them?" It's a valid and sincere question. I fear that performance-centered religion often drives the question, and I fear that the actual abuser may be forcing the issue.
They're either pressuring you to forgive them, or you have been made to believe that God won't forgive you if you don't forgive. Jesus did say "forgive, or your Father in Heaven won't forgive you," but that was before he paid for you sin, you are forgiven in Christ alone.
Toxic forgiveness is in place when your abuser is guilting you into forgiveness. Usually, they're just trying to cleanse their guilty conscience - be aware, don't fall into that trap.
True forgiveness is when you have released the pain at a heart level, and it no longer defines any aspect of your identity. If you identify with the abuse, you have not released your abuser from your heart, but you can.
SEEK TRUE FORGIVENESS
Let's first define the word "forgive" before we discuss how you can know you have truly forgiven.
To lift up
Pardon
To cover
Make atonement
To send away (to bid going away)
To leave, go away from
To go away and leave something behind
As you can see, forgiveness is a dynamic concept. Jesus gives us the key to true forgiveness when he says to bless and pray for those who have hurt you.
How Do I Pray For and Bless My Abuser?
How does Jesus pray for those who have abused him? "Father forgive them, they don't know what they're doing." He sees the person instead of the pain they caused him. He understands they are acting out of their ignorance.
You are not giving them an excuse when you forgive them, you are choosing to remove the power they have over you. You are allowing your opinion of that person to transcend their sin. In a sense, you are doing what God did for you, “loved you before you loved him.” You are choosing NOT to let someone else's sin define you.
The quickest path to true forgiveness is not to analyze yourself, it’s to pray for them. Pray for them as you would pray for your favorite person. Pray for their healing and forgiveness. Pray they can release their pain. Pray they can know God’s love and be set free from their guilt and shame.
Luke 6:27 “But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.
You might be able to pray for them, but how do you bless them? Let’s define “bless.”
"Bless" Word Study
Bless - eulogeōfrom (from two words)
eu - farewell, prosper, be well off
logos - word - speech
"To bless someone is to speak to their wellbeing."
There are a few usages of the word "bless."
Invoke blessings (invoke - cite or appeal to (someone or something) as an authority for an action or in support of an argument.)
of one taking leave
of one at the point of death
The idea in usage TWO is to bless someone as if they are going away, or as if they are on their death bed. Interestingly, usage two is the one applied in Luke 6:27. Bless them as if they are going away. They ARE going away because you are choosing to send them away. You are choosing to send away the pain they caused you. And you are choosing to send away the bitterness and anger you have against them.
Let's Put It All Together
If someone hurt or abused you, you are to forgive them because your father in Heaven has forgiven you. You are to pray for them as Jesus prayed for his enemies; he asked that their sin not be held against them. He was not bitter or angry when he prayed, and he prayed for them out of compassion due to their ignorance.
Jesus knew he had the authority to release forgiveness for them. In a way, you do as well. You have the power to administer forgiveness in their lives by forgiving them yourself. If they can experience your forgiveness, they may be able to open their hearts to receive forgiveness from God, should they choose to accept it.
You are then instructed to bless them. But you are to bless them as you would someone that is leaving you or getting ready to leave this world. This is where the aspect of "sending them away," from the definition of "forgiveness" comes into play.
This denotes boundaries. You are to release them as if they are going away from your life. You're not holding on to the hurt, you're not holding on to the anger, but you are also not holding on to them. You are bidding them farewell from your heart, and possibly even your life.
You are praying for them and speaking life over them as they carry on with their lives, unable to hurt you any longer because you are choosing to leave it all behind.
Forgiveness Exercise
Let's try something practical. If you have someone in your life who has hurt you and the pain is still there, try this.
Write their name.
Write a few of God's promises for them.
Write what you hope they experience in their heart from experiencing God's love.
Envision them departing from your heart, no longer able to create emotions within you.
Inside Out Identity: Learn to Allow God's Love to Deliver Grace to Your Heart
Nothing “outside” of you has the authority to tell you who you are. You have given your life to God, he “owns” you, and he alone has the authority to define what and who you are.
So what does he say?
God says you are at peace with him by faith in Christ, and he says you’re in right-standing with him the same way. He defines the terms, and he enforces the rules. Righteousness is by faith, not works.
Also remember that God has placed his spirit in you, and his kingdom is in you, so essentially God is in you. If God determines your identity, he does it from the inside, not through external circumstances in your life.
Righteousness is not by works, holiness is not by works, and identity is not by works, it’s all given to you in Christ. Your actions do not define you. Nothing anyone does to you, defines you. Not even your DNA defines you.
Unfortunately, we can go through things in this life that are so traumatic we allow them to define us because they’re so overwhelming. What do we do in traumatic situations?
Nothing “outside” of you has the authority to tell you who you are. You have given your life to God, he “owns” you, and he alone has the authority to define what and who you are.
So what does he say?
God says you are at peace with him by faith in Christ, and he says you’re in right-standing with him the same way. He defines the terms, and he enforces the rules. Righteousness is by faith, not works.
Also remember that God has placed his spirit in you, and his kingdom is in you, so essentially God is in you. If God determines your identity, he does it from the inside, not through external circumstances in your life.
Righteousness is not by works, holiness is not by works, and identity is not by works, it’s all given to you in Christ. Your actions do not define you. Nothing anyone does to you, defines you. Not even your DNA defines you.
Unfortunately, we can go through things in this life that are so traumatic we allow them to define us because they’re so overwhelming. What do we do in traumatic situations?
Trauma Based Identity
Trauma can be devastating. We all know what physical trauma is; when the body takes damage. A bruise, open wound, or loss of limb are all considered traumas of varying degrees. Economic, relational, or general emotional traumas are in the world as well.
All of those kinds of traumas are things that happen from the outside. You lose your job, you get a divorce, or someone abuses you; all of those happen to you.
You choose how you respond to those situations. It may not feel like in certain situations but you get to determine how those things affect you long term. Sometimes those events are so overwhelming that you allow them to shape how you see yourself.
If someone has taken advantage of you and you feel powerless, the emotion may linger. If your parents told you that you are stupid, that might be a belief that still carries weight in your life today. Your identity might be so connected to your job performance that you feel less valuable when you don’t do a good job.
All of those situations can create emotional trauma from the outside in.
Inside Out Identity
We must allow God to inform our self-worth and our identity. We are who God says we are and nothing else. We may behave in certain ways or hold specific positions, but those things are temporary and do not have the authority to tell you what kind of being you are and who you are in God’s sight.
God’s opinion is the ultimate reality in our lives. How God sees things are the truth of any situation. How he sees it is unchangeable.
We must learn to see ourselves through his eyes. It’s a bit challenging since he’s invisible, but we can know his perspective through the person of Jesus. Jesus is the most evident understanding we have of who God is.
How to Live In the Power of Your Identity In Christ
It’s easier than you think, but there’s an element of trust involved. Recently at church, my wife shared a story about going to the grocery store. She saw several people wearing masks and trying their best to keep their distance in the crowd. There were limitations on certain items, and all the employees were exhausted from working so many hours. Sara just didn’t feel like dealing with it.
I used that as an object lesson in my sermon above. The object lesson I’ll share here is the key to living in the power of your identity.
First, let me say again; there’s an element of trust involved. You have to trust that God’s spirit is giving you wisdom and actual strength, and it’s up to you to choose it.
Here’s the simple lesson, in this case, before you go into the store, remember who you are. You may do this before you get out of bed, go to work, interact with your family, whatever it may be. Before you proceed into whatever you’re doing, take a couple of minutes to remember who God is and who you are in him.
Before you go into the grocery store, you might say something like this; there are people in there who don’t know you, God, I may be the one to show them love and open their hearts to you. I am a child of God. Everywhere I go, I have your peace. I will not react, I will stand in your strength, and I will be open to your power in my life, in this store, whatever that may be. I choose to allow you to give me strength.
Expect strength to arise (trust) and then proceed.
VERY SIMPLE! What you’re doing is putting on the new man, you’re intentionally renewing your mind to who you are in him; therefore, you are positioned for the will of God to work through you.
That’s where the trust comes in, remembering God is present, and he will empower you to walk in love. If you’re going to work, or the doctor or whatever, do the same thing, yield your heart to his love and powerful grace before you go in.
Try it, don’t dismiss it because it’s too simple. Trust that God is giving you strength in a real way; it’s not just a nice idea. Go! Try it! Watch him work in your life!
Download the series
You Can Know God’s Ways
MESSAGE TITLES
How to Receive Revelation from God - Colossians 1
The Most Underrated Passage in the Bible - Colossians 2
You Can Know God's Ways
God's Love Delivers Grace to Your Heart
You Can Know God’s Ways, You Don’t Have To Be Confused
Have you ever heard the idea that you can't know God's ways because they're higher than our ways? It's usually applied when a difficult or confusing thing happens. Well, you don't have to be confused, you can know His ways.
God was actually angry at the Israelites in the wilderness for not knowing His ways. God expects you to know His ways. God has shown us His ways, and His spirit continually teaches you His ways. Click for more.
After their deliverance from Egypt, many of the Israelites complained about their accommodations, which led to unthankfulness, which led to a hardness of heart, which led to them not being able to enter into the land God promised their ancestors.
God was angry with the Israelites in the wilderness for two reasons; their hearts were hard toward Him, and they didn't know His ways. Think about that. He was angry because they didn't know His ways. Most pastors teach people that you can't know God's ways because they're higher than our ways. Confusion is encouraged. "Just accept that you can't understand God's ways and accept what's happening to you because we just don't know what God is doing." This is a lie from hell.
1 Corinthians 2:9 However, as it is written: “What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived” — the things God has prepared for those who love him— 10 these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.
Back to the Israelites in the wilderness, He expected them to know His ways! How? They were to remember His faithfulness. He delivered them from Egypt and reminded them of His original promises to their father Abraham and began leading them, but they still wondered if He would follow through.
Hebrews 3:7 Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says: “Today, if you hear His voice, 8 do not harden your hearts, as you did in the rebellion, in the day of testing in the wilderness, 9 where your fathers tested and tried Me, and for forty years saw My works. 10 Therefore I was angry with that generation, and I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray, and they have not known My ways.’ 11 So I swore on oath in My anger, ‘They shall never enter My rest.’” 12 See to it, brothers, that none of you has a wicked heart of unbelief that turns away from the living God.
Imagine this, God shows up and brings you out of slavery, gives you a bunch of gold, splits a sea for you, feeds you every day, speaks to you audibly, reminds you that you're headed for a beautiful land, and then you say, I'm not sure I can trust you. That's where they were.
Hebrews 3:19 So we see that they were not able to enter, because of their unbelief.
What were they not believing?
That He would do what He said he would do, even though they just saw Him do amazing things.
Believing isn't hard if you're willing to let go of the emotion of your current circumstances and your opinions of why those circumstances are in your life. But confusion sets in when you try to filter God's ways through your circumstances.
We know God's ways based on who He says He is and what He has done, specifically what He has done in and through Christ. Christ is God's ways; Jesus is THE way. He's not just the path to Heaven, He's the living example of how God operates. We can know God's ways because we can know Jesus.
Today's World
Some of your friends and family members are hardening their hearts toward the Lord right now. The state of the world is uncertain, and lots of people are wondering how God fits into their "new normal." They're a little bit afraid, and they're not sure what the future looks like.
If they don't hold onto the Lord as their anchor, they will begin to astray in their hearts. When people stray away from God in their hearts for too long, they begin to build a life view without Him. It's not intentional, they're just trying to survive. People don't know how to depend on God and include Him in their decision-making processes when life gets hard.
Your job is to love them. Remind them that God loves them and still has good plans for them. Life may be hard, but don't forget to turn to the Lord. Help them know God's love for them and help them learn how to depend on God in real-life situations.
We don't have to be confused. We know God, and we know His ways because we know Jesus.
How Are You Doing?
If you feel like you're drifting and don't understand life right now, don't worry, you can turn it around. Turn to the Lord. Let Him out of the box of your current understanding you have Him in and let Him into the rest of your life.
God is smart. He knows what to do. You can trust Him. His spirit WILL tell you what to do and how to do it. It may sound and look different than what you're used to, but He WILL teach you because He said He would.
Watch my message "How To Receive Revelation from God" and put the steps into practice. You can and will hear from God if you soften your heart toward Him and allow Him to be God in your life.
Download the series
You Can Know God’s Ways
MESSAGE TITLES
How to Receive Revelation from God - Colossians 1
The Most Underrated Passage in the Bible - Colossians 2
You Can Know God's Ways
God's Love Delivers Grace to Your Heart
How to Receive Revelation from God
Did you know you can hear from God anytime you want? God is never silent! We may be more focused on the physical world’s circumstances and ignore His voice, but he is without a doubt speaking. If you can’t hear him in your heart in prayer, you can go to his written word and listen to Him. Whether He said it 3000 years ago or 3 seconds ago, His logos can give you life.
In this message, I walk you through the first chapter of Colossians and show you how to read in such a way that His word will come alive in you. The key is this, can you look at His written logos and appreciate what’s there.
“Revelation is not when God decides to tell you something you didn’t know, revelation happens when your heart sees what’s already true.”
Did you know you can hear from God anytime you want? God is never silent! We may be more focused on life’s circumstances and ignore His voice, but he is without a doubt speaking. If you can’t hear him in your heart in prayer, you can go to his written word and listen to Him. Whether He said it 3000 years ago or 3 seconds ago, His logos can give you life at any moment.
In this message, I walk you through the first chapter of Colossians and show you how to read in such a way that His word comes alive in you. The question is this, can you look at His written logos and appreciate what’s there?
Art Appreciation
Do you enjoy art or music? Have you ever gazed at a sculpture or painting notice more and more the longer you stare? You end up getting more out of the art than it holds at face value. A true work of art will evoke an emotional response. Art can be transcendent, opening your heart and mind to different layers and even move you at a deep level.
The written logos of God is the same way. You can look at it at face value, but you can gaze a little deeper and allow it to speak to you. If you appreciate what’s written at face value, you can relax your eyes a little and look with your heart. In fact, you WANT to look at the written word with the eyes of your heart.
Two Sets of Eyes
When you look at the written logos of God with the eyes of your heart, you see the unlimited potentials behind what’s written. Look at it with a spiritual lens, knowing that anything is possible. If you’re reading a miraculous story, see yourself in the image. Dream a little, allow it to inspire an emotional response. Use your imagination.
Once you see the potentials and allow a little hope to arise, make sure you don’t immediately look at your life to see the same things. In other words, allow the experience to build in your heart. Give it time to grow. You are not going to receive revelation with the eyes of your heart and then immediately see it with the eyes in your head in your life.
The eyes of your heart see spiritual seeds and promises. The eyes of your head see the evidence. But the evidence can take time.
It’s your job to sow the logos before you need it, so you can reap the harvest of the promises and provision in God’s word when you need it.
Homework
Step 1: Watch the full sermon
Step 2: Read through the book of Colossians for yourself and apply the reading method I teach you in the sermon.
Step 3: Write down the revelation you receive while reading
Step 4: DO IT!!! Put it in to practice.